Waiting

I can tell when I am antsy when my legs cannot stop moving.  Sitting here at my desk I keep bouncing my leg.  Then I bend one leg so that I am sitting on it and the other one starts swinging.  If I stand up I am merely going to pace or go do dishes while I fidget.  Why am I antsy?  Because I am waiting.

So I've taken some steps in this whole freelance writing adventure.  I have reviewed our budget to figure out what kind of financial margin we have while we wait another few weeks for job interviews and invitations.  I have set up no fewer than three spreadsheets to track freelance money and projects. I set up skype and norton and windows and a couple of other tools in order to have this computer meet my needs.  I have registered on a freelance writing service, applied for three projects, submitted proposals to two magazines...and now we wait.

I don't like waiting.  I don't know anyone who really does.  The most positive thing that I ever hear is, "I don't mind waiting."  Waiting means that you have something that you want to do but you cannot move on it until something else happens.  You need someone else to finish their part of the project before you can do your part.  You need the rain to stop before you can play outside.  You need the crappy driver in front of you to finish parallel parking before you can get around them to drop off your one little letter at the post office.  Whatever the case may be.

There are a couple of different approaches that can be taken when you are waiting.  Option A is to turn your whole world into focusing on when you can start.  I cannot make a call or be away from my phone so I don't miss the notification that I can begin.  I will check my websites multiple times per hour to see if it is time.  I get tense and short tempered because nothing good can happen in my life until this waiting is over!  So there's that option.

Option B realizes that there are some things that are out of my control.  Refreshing the page 1,000 times will not make the plane land any faster.  What I can control is how I choose to spend right now.  Do I make the most of this time by engaging in rest or play or learning or prayer...or do I choose to wrap myself up in anxiety until I can be released like a wound spring when the waiting is over?  I am starting to learn that B might actually be healthier than A.

The people who are most miserable here in Fairbanks are the ones who live for summer and spend our 8 months of winter waiting, resenting the snow and darkness and cold.  The ones who are happiest find things to do in all seasons; Indoor or Outdoor, Active or Stationary, there are activities that build the body, mind and soul that can be found in every season.

So today, I have put in a few hours of administrative work and freelance proposals.  I have initiated with those that I need to initiate with.  My family is engaged in their individual activities.  We will connect a little later today for some family fun.  So instead of clicking back and forth between websites and cursing people who do not respond quickly, I will do a little praying and some housework and I will learn a new skill.  I'm going to learn how to write screenplays and then start adapting "The Seer."  Will I complete it and try to get it turned into a movie?  I don't know, but it sounds like a fun challenge and a significantly more productive way to wait than Option A.